There’s always been a big part of me that gravitates to the spiritual realm for healing and wholeness on the emotional level. Meditation has played a big part in my life since my early twenties. The study of world mythology and Jungian psychology and a lifelong love of the healing power of storytelling in film have practically defined me as an adult.
Over the course of the last six months, a wounded part of myself has arisen like a ghost energy to block my connection with a certain man who feels to me like a soul mate. It’s extremely painful to witness this in myself and feel strangely powerless in the presence of it. The difference now, from 6 months ago is that I no longer identify with that negative energy. On some level I understand that “it” is not part of my identity but is only trying to protect me. That realization doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially because it feels like my will power has been stolen.
The wound comes from sexual violence (a date rape that nearly cost me my life) but I have the sense this restrictive energy goes even deeper, maybe even farther back on the soul level. I did the psychotherapy journey for about five years and gained understanding and a sense of wholeness from that but the fact that this residual energy remains with me and stands in the way of sexual and emotional intimacy has caused me to seek out alternative healing. It’s time to be completely healed.
Next week I am scheduled to meet with a Shamanic healer and a couple of days after that with a Reiki teacher and psychic. I feel certain these practitioners will be able to help me heal this wound once and for all. It is fascinating to me that several shamans have coalesced in my circle of influence of late. I didn’t seek them out, they are just turning up around me. I take this as a sign. So now I’m excited and hopeful that I may finally have a cleansing and completeness. Perhaps I will share some of that experience with you here.
The statistics around sexual violence shows that somewhere in the neighborhood of 70 percent of all women have experienced rape or other forms of sexual abuse or violence. And those are the ones that come forward and seek help. How many more have kept their silence? Native/indigenous cultures have long had remedies for such afflictions. So why not avail myself of their folkways?
The ‘Me Too’ movement has brought much out into the open. Ghislaine Maxwell’s recent conviction for sex trafficking for Jeffrey Epstein is bringing the conversation even more into mainstream consciousness. I hope that by sharing at least a part of my story and road to healing other women will be empowered to share theirs.
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