Yesterday was the last day of UPW Virtual for March 2022. It was the most powerful experience I’ve personally ever had. Lots of tears and lots of encouragement to step through fear and move ahead. I played full out and wore myself out completely (which I’m fairly certain is the idea). UPW is a boot camp for the body/mind/soul. We pay to get pushed way beyond our comfort zone and then they just keep going until all the resistance to change plays itself out.

I could not sleep last night, although I did nod off and had bizarre surrealist dreams. In the first, I was with my mother during her last years. She had heart problems and as a result, ended up with worsening vascular dementia. I became her caregiver in real life and it was emotionally traumatizing. I’m an empath so I often felt what she was experiencing. People were rude and dismissive of her because she was also very hard of hearing. At one point I was alone on a densely foggy beach. There were impossible metal stairways up into the heavens. I desperately wanted to escape up them into the clear sky but couldn’t. Another bizarre dream sequence on the theme of being deathly comfortable in stagnant energy followed that one. It was a dream stealing trance. Months and years of time were slipping away.

Needless to say I was glad to wake up in neither of those situations. It sounds like a bit much to put oneself through but these are valuable insights. I don’t think I ever acknowledged to myself how hard that caregiving experience was. The Tony Robbins Team worked hard to coach us through the process of thinking beyond the ordinary. Then on day 4 (yesterday) they turned on the pressure to buy into the next levels of self-improvement with two powerful Keynote Speakers and some hard-sell techniques.

I’d love to do Date With Destiny next. That’s a 6-day intensive and Tony’s favorite. He created it to find answers to his own personal crisis when two former business partners embezzled a quarter of a million dollars from him and disappeared to Mexico, leaving his company $778,000 in debt and his marriage on the brink of collapse. His first marriage did end and he did pay off his debt without filing for bankruptcy out of the intensive soul searching that became DWD.

I haven’t taken action though because I don’t feel like I can afford it right now. I may change my mind. DWD might be just what I need. The biggest step for me right now is moving forward with meaningful work and a life partner. Sound like a tall order? It is but we can’t get there if we don’t know our goal. The best case scenario for me is to combine the two so we can work together on a fulfilling journey of service to others. I’m not entrepreneurial by nature but I thrive in a collaborative role.

So that’s what I emerged with after my third UPW. I think that’s a great outcome. I have more clarity and certainty than I had 5 days ago. It’s raining today. That makes it a good day for journaling and maybe watching an uplifting movie or documentary in the comfort of home.